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| Art by Delawer-Omar |
He inhales deeply like the cigarette was a source of oxygen, he could still taste the whisky he drank last night. Looking out the window while seated at the edge of the bed watching the sunrise as he smoked his first cigarette of the day. 'She's still here', he turns to look at her, 'she's so beautiful even while she sleeps', he closes his eyes at the thought of that. No, he's not meant to think like this about her, about any woman.
"Good morning", she startled him with her sleepy greeting. She had so much fun with him, they met online and decided to go for dinner, they spent their whole Friday night talking about what mattered, dancing, racing in the park late at night and they ended up continuing with the talks and laughs at his apartment later. She's not sure whether it was a spark or just the alcohol they both drank. 'He's so handsome', she thought to herself as she got out of the bed, goes to the bathroom to undress and jumps into the shower. 'I wish it was more than what it is, but I can't let it be more, Its just not safe', she thought to herself as the warm shower dropped on her face. She can't allow another man make empty promises and break her heart, she had been in that dark place way too many times. 'He didn't even reply when I greeted him', she thought. "It is what it is", she says to herself as she looked at her reflection on the bathroom mirror, puts on her dress and prepared to make a run for it.
'Why is she in such a hurry to leave?', he wondered. 'Maybe she didn't have a good time. I should have replied her greeting, ahhh I was caught in the moment. Look at her she's stunning!...' He thought to him self. What will he do next?, he wondered if he should escort her out or not, if he should tell her how wonderful she is and how much fun he had or just say bye and let the moment slip away. 'Its so difficult, maybe I should just let her leave like all the others, but this one felt different a little. Ahh no, its the same. I'm letting her leave without a word', he thought to himself while he paced around his studio as she finishes getting dressed and grabbing her belongings then she turned to him with an awkward smile.
'Maybe I should tell him to keep in touch?, maybe not? I never know the right things to say to make them stay. They always leave anyway so why bother?' she thought to herself as she forced a smile on her face when she noticed he was seated on the sofa of his studio's living area watching her as she gathered her belongings. 'I bet he's wondering why or how he ended up here with me, maybe I'm not pretty enough or fun enough for him. Oh well, whatever, I need to go now' , she thought this as she started heading for the door.
He stopped her then smiled, she smiled back. He then got out of her way to let her leave, her smile droppped, she looked down briefly then looked back up at him, faked a smile and opened the door to leave. 'Wow, what was I even thinking, dammit why do I always do this to myself?', she thought to herself as she stepped into the corridor and found her way out of the building.
He stood behind the door, in his apartment confused, 'what the hell was that?, was she upset or that was her way to show that she was not interested?, ahh who cares anyway', he thought to himself knowing very well that he actually cared what she thought and wanted to know what she was thinking.
"Hey girl!, uhm uhm! spill the tea!", her dear friend greeted her excitedly as soon as they sat down at the coffee shop near the building they live in, they are neighbours and became close over the years.
"God, what can I say. It was amazing!, but It was what it was... you know", she replies feeling a little disappointed with herself.
"Oh girl, well at least you had fun, maybe you should give him a call someday soon. I mean you always just disappear on them, since you really enjoyed his company, make an exception this time", her dear friend encourages her with a sweet sympathetic smile.
" That's the thing hun, when is soon? am I even supposed to call him? Is he even worth making an exception?... ahh its not important right now! tell me how was your first business trip out of the country?!" , she changed the topic before she started to sound desperate or like a confused teenager in love.
"Oh my God!!! Yes! I was so nervous you know it was such an adventure for me ......", her dear friend went on talking, but she wasn't paying full attention because she still had so much questions to ask him and knowing she can't and shouldn't reach out to him was just saddening to her self-esteem and her failed love life. After their usual Saturday catching up during breakfast, they said their bye's and see you later's then she started off back to her place. 'Wow, everyone around me is in love, falling in love or married. What's wrong with me? the only thing I crave and I can't seem to find it. I think I did with him, I mean a potential' , she thought to herself as she opened the door into her cute little studio.
"Yo man! whats up!, you smashed or nah? hahahaha oh wait don't tell us she 'catfished' you!", the boys questioning their friend's score as they prepared for their usual morning jog.
"Haha no, she was a bombshell and not the mediocre type, she was actually super cool. Surprisingly no man I didn't smash... I mean I think we were too drunk. We passed out before I could score with her", He replied, not saying the fact that they actually spent most of the night talking and laughing. He hadn't felt so comfortable to talk like that with a woman in so long. The boys went on jogging and racing each other on who will jog the most miles, but he let them play around as he jogged steadily behind them while thinking about last night's conversations. 'Oh that beautiful woman, she was fun and intelligent. I can't believe I told her so much and she did too. I loved waking up to her today morning, I haven't felt like that in a while. Well life goes on', he thought to himself as he started picking up speed to catch up with his friends as they continued jogging.
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