The Replaceables

The problem with our generation is this:

We are too quick to replace that which we are no longer pleased with,

That which is broken,

That which does not work the same way anymore,

We have no patience enough to fix things,

We have no patience for human error even,

Our generation was between analog times and the complete digitalized era,

So we always replaced the old toys with the new advanced ones,

This is how we deal with life too,

We have replaced toys with people,

People have become disposable so much that bonds are no longer sacred, 

Promises are just words one uses to gain benefits until they no longer need the gains.

Who can we blame for this mess? 

Perhaps a curse mother earth casted on us as revenge for all the damage technological advancements brought to her by the generation before us.

Where am I from?

I am from Africa. The land where natural resources are endless, we feed the world for centuries and counting. Where we find organic fruits and vegetables. Africa has 54 (55 including Morocco which is not part of the African Union) recognized countries each having a variety of cultures and even ethnicity as well as religions yet we live in harmony regardless of our differences(only a few countries are exceptions to this). In Africa our definition of beauty is not with size but with personality, your good manners and generosity go a long way in the society.

Majority are either religious or spiritual since we all believe in a higher power. We are naturally creative and have so many talents that are yet to be discovered. We look up to the foreign continents when in reality we have more than most of the foreign countries, we have been deprived of our rights with all the never ending exploitation yet just like a Phoenix we are still rising above it all. We value family and our roots. 

Where children are not forced nor expected to move out when they're "of age", they have an option to Move out or stay home. They work hard to invest in their lives and contribute to the household, they can move out when they're ready to start their own families. We believe in reserving our nature and keeping it as green as we can despite the foreign influences. We believe in our continent, we believe in our countries and though many would aspire to live abroad, there are also many of us that would rather stay home and build... I'm one of them. I am an African from Tanzania and I'll forever be proud to claim my continent. 

The mystical creatures of Mainstream media.

How do you expect a woman who has let herself define and reduce her beauty to just looks, and by looks I mean the amount of colored liquid paste and dry powder to cover her "imperfections" as she claims as if those "imperfections" are not the things that differentiate her from other people, as if those "imperfections" are not a part of her, as if those "imperfections" cannot be loved, as if "imperfections" are only limited to looks. How do you expect a woman that cannot leave her house without looking almost identical to the mainstream media women respect your definition of beauty? , respect your decision not to follow the unrealistic trends, how do you expect her to be real with you when she can't be real with herself? How can you count on her? How can she not look down on you when you haven't got your face "beat for the Gods" 24/7? More importantly, how do you expect her to love you beyond your looks when she doesn't love herself beyond hers?

Sure we all give into the mainstream standards occasionally, but do not be limited in your beautiful because its yours to keep. You are allowed to not feel fabulous at times, you're allowed to walk out in your pajamas to get to that grocery store that sells your favorite comfort snacks, you're allowed to be a mess, you're alowed to walk around bare face, you're allowed not to feel okay, its all part of the "imperfections" that most of us try so hard to hide because the mainstream media says so.

Short stories: Words unspoken.

Art by Delawer-Omar 

He inhales deeply like the cigarette was a source of oxygen, he could still taste the whisky he drank last night. Looking out the window while seated at the edge of the bed watching the sunrise as he smoked his first cigarette of the day. 'She's still here', he turns to look at her, 'she's so beautiful even while she sleeps', he closes his eyes at the thought of that. No, he's not meant to think like this about her, about any woman.

"Good morning", she startled him with her sleepy greeting. She had so much fun with him, they met online and decided to go for dinner, they spent their whole Friday night talking about what mattered, dancing, racing in the park late at night and they ended up continuing with the talks and laughs at his apartment later. She's not sure whether it was a spark or just the alcohol they both drank. 'He's so handsome', she thought to herself as she got out of the bed, goes to the bathroom to undress and jumps into the shower. 'I wish it was more than what it is, but I can't let it be more, Its just not safe', she thought to herself as the warm shower dropped on her face. She can't allow another man make empty promises and break her heart, she had been in that dark place way too many times. 'He didn't even reply when I greeted him', she thought. "It is what it is", she says to herself as she looked at her reflection on the bathroom mirror, puts on her dress and prepared to make a run for it.

'Why is she in such a hurry to leave?', he wondered. 'Maybe she  didn't have a good time. I should have replied her greeting, ahhh I was caught in the moment. Look at her she's stunning!...' He thought to him self. What will he do next?, he wondered if he should escort her out or not, if he should tell her how wonderful she is and how much fun he had or just say bye and let the moment slip away. 'Its so difficult, maybe I should just let her leave like all the others, but this one felt different a little. Ahh no, its the same. I'm letting her leave without a word', he thought to himself while he paced around his studio as she finishes getting dressed and grabbing her belongings then she turned to him with an awkward smile.

'Maybe I should tell him to keep in touch?, maybe not? I never know the right things to say to make them stay. They always leave anyway so why bother?' she thought to herself as she forced a smile on her face when she noticed he was seated on the sofa of his studio's living area watching her as she gathered her belongings. 'I bet he's wondering why or how he ended up here with me, maybe I'm not pretty enough or fun enough for him. Oh well, whatever, I need to go now' , she thought this as she started heading for the door.

He stopped her then smiled, she smiled back. He then got out of her way to let her leave, her smile droppped, she looked down briefly then looked back up at him, faked a smile and opened the door to leave. 'Wow, what was I even thinking, dammit why do I always do this to myself?', she thought to herself as she stepped into the corridor and found her way out of the building.

He stood behind the door, in his apartment confused, 'what the hell was that?, was she upset or that was her way to show that she was not interested?, ahh who cares anyway', he thought to himself knowing very well that he actually cared what she thought and wanted to know what she was thinking.

"Hey girl!, uhm uhm! spill the tea!", her dear friend greeted her excitedly as soon as they sat down at the coffee shop near the building they live in, they are neighbours and became close over the years.

"God, what can I say. It was amazing!, but It was what it was... you know", she replies feeling a little disappointed with herself.

"Oh girl, well at least you had fun, maybe you should give him a call someday soon. I mean you always just disappear on them, since you really enjoyed his company, make an exception this time", her dear friend encourages her with a sweet sympathetic smile.

" That's the thing hun, when is soon? am I even supposed to call him? Is he even worth making an exception?... ahh its not important right now! tell me how was your first business trip out of the country?!" , she changed the topic before she started to sound desperate or like a confused teenager in love.

"Oh my God!!! Yes! I was so nervous you know it was such an adventure for me ......", her dear friend went on talking, but she wasn't paying full attention because she still had so much questions to ask him and knowing she can't and shouldn't reach out to him was just saddening to her self-esteem and her failed love life. After their usual Saturday catching up during breakfast, they said their bye's and see you later's then she started off back to her place. 'Wow, everyone around me is in love, falling in love or married. What's wrong with me? the only thing I crave and I can't seem to find it. I think I did with him, I mean a potential' , she thought to herself as she opened the door into her cute little studio.

"Yo man! whats up!, you smashed or nah? hahahaha oh wait don't tell us she 'catfished' you!", the boys questioning their friend's score as they prepared for their usual morning jog.

 "Haha no, she was a bombshell and not the mediocre type, she was actually super cool. Surprisingly no man I didn't smash... I mean  I think we were too drunk. We passed out before I could score with her", He replied, not saying the fact that they actually spent most of the night talking and laughing. He hadn't felt so comfortable to talk like that with a woman in so long. The boys went on jogging and racing each other on who will jog the most miles, but he let them play around as he jogged steadily behind them while thinking about last night's conversations. 'Oh that beautiful woman, she was fun and intelligent. I can't believe I told her so much and she did too. I loved waking up to her today morning, I haven't felt like that in a while. Well life goes on', he thought to himself as he started picking up speed to catch up with his friends as they continued jogging.

                                           ****************************

Not so simple.

You tell me to keep it light and simple like your soul is as transparent as glass and as simple as the gown I'm wearing for you. Like your skin shows all your veins and how they keep you alive, like your brain paints me a picture of your thoughts. As if your eyes can tell me your secrets when your mouth won't move a single muscle that is linked to your jaws, like the scars on your body will tell me of its trauma or your hands will tell me how many it has touched. As if your lips will show me how many lips you have kissed or if I'm the only one you want to kiss… Like your heart will tell me you love me and beg me to stay when I try to leave. Tell me is it ever light and simple?

Short stories: One More Kiss Before You Go

Admiring yourself in a towel, in the bathroom mirror after you've showered. "You are such a sight to behold!", she calls after you from the bedroom, you cringe… Why does she always have to say these sweet things? You think to yourself while going into the bedroom and into the closet to pick something to wear for work. Does she always have to stare at me with that dreamy smile? You think to yourself while you caught her staring at you as you get dressed for work. She is a woman you've been seeing for the past two months, she loves helping people more than just having a successful career, she's not competitive because she believes everything happens naturally, nothing like your beliefs and you always wondered why you're still seeing her. She leaves the room, ah! Finally!,you think to yourself… You check your phone for emails from that hot chick you met at work two weeks ago, email because sms texts can be easily noticed by her so you told the hot chick to email you instead. She sent you a picture of herself licking an ice cream cone, huh now that's hot why won't she do this? She is just boring, you think to yourself and shake your head in disgust. You walk to the kitchen and you find her seated waiting for you by the counter with your breakfast ready, she gives you that dreamy and sleepy smile that has started to annoy you too so you fake a smile and start digging into your food. She watches you eat, "so how is your lunch schedule like today?, was thinking to drop by with some food and we can have a picnic in your office, you know we can talk and laugh and everything", she gives out a nervous giggle. You think, Oh hell no, "oh sorry love I have a lunch meeting with a client, maybe some other day", mattering under your breath "in another life". Her smile falls into a frown with a slight fake smile "oh sure next time", she hugs you and starts off her own meal. You finished eating, rushing to take your suitcase and grabbing your coat hoping she doesn't say what she always says every time you leave for work, the most annoying line coming out of her mouth…  "hey one last kiss before you go?" Oh no she said it again arghhh whyyy??? You think to yourself and before you could stop yourself this time, "no not today, actually not any more… I need a break and I think you should go back to your place". She looks like she just saw her life flash before her eyes… "oh, um... I see, sorry if i made you feel suffocated. I will leave and never bother you again". Its done, that's it! You didn't think it would be so easy yet it was, you get into your office happily and decided to email the hot chick and invite her for lunch…

6 months later as you stare at yourself in the same bathroom mirror in a towel after you've showered, a sudden sharp sad feeling of something is missing emerged and you wondered why. As you get to the bedroom, another hot chick from yet another wild night is still in bed and checking her phone for notifications and taking pictures of herself, "baby don't I look beautiful even when I just woke up? Like I woke up like this! Get it? Haha", you look at her and smile. Go into the kitchen and that feeling of something is missing emerges again, but you ignore it and make your breakfast and eat. As you are about to leave, "hey one more kiss before you go?", You stop in your tracks and rush back to the bedroom only to find that hot chick went back to sleep she didn't say anything. That is when it hits you, it hits you hard, "I miss her, she's what's missing", you suddenly realize how much you even miss the things you found annoying about her, you notice that those are the things a good woman does for her man, a good woman in love with her man. You reach at your desk in the office and pick the phone to call her... She doesn't pick up and you realize what a huge mess you made and you need to meet her in person so you plan to go to her place after work. You bought her flowers, lilies are her favourite and sneakers the chocolates, she loves those too. You walk up to her door and ring the bell, a man opens the door and asks "can I help you?", you reply, "I'm looking for Isabelle?", the man replies, "oh you must be talking about that beautiful young lady who used to live here, she moved to a different city, or country… can't quite remember now, but yeah she moved and she's the one who told me about an opening here and I moved in". You never kept intouch with her and you don't know what city, what country she moved to. You feel like your heart has fallen into your stomach and you suddenly feel too sick to stand, "hey was she your lover? You look heart broken by the news", the man asks. You start walking away from the man without uttering a word to him. I'm heart broken that man is right, I didn't know it feels so painful … You think to yourself. "I lost her because I did not see what a precious woman I had and how much of a coward I was to her, she did nothing wrong… Maybe I was what was wrong with her,I lost her" you speak to yourself while looking into the bathroom mirror, in a towel and after you've showered… this time there's no hot chick, there's no one.

He is not ready.

You should be his one and only, but he is not ready.

He should respect you, show the world how to treat a lady, but he is not ready.

You should be able to love him unconditionally, but he is not ready.

You should see it in his eyes how much he cares for you, but he is not ready.

All the clichés on love should turn into romantic gestures, but he is not ready.

He should publicly call you his girlfriend and show you off to the world, but he is not ready.

He should be taking you out on all kinds of dates every chance he gets, but he is not ready.

He should be trusting you around his friends and your male friends, but he is not ready.

He should bring out the best in you by helping you become the best version of yourself and allow you to do the same for him, but he is not ready.

He should buy you flowers on a random day because he feels like it not because its your birthday or valentines day, but he is not ready.

Instead of asking in an accusing tone he should ask you like he is interested in your life, but he is not ready.

Instead of accidentally meeting his mother he should arrange an introductory meeting, but he is not ready.

He is not supposed to make you feel like you are in competition with other women for his attention,but he is not ready.

He should hug you like he needs to feel your lungs so that he can breathe because its hard being away from you for too long, but he is not ready.

He should keep the communication as open as he can with you, but he is not ready.

It should be hard not to smile and have dreamy eyes when his name is mentioned, but he is not ready.

You should be honest with each other's feelings and situations, but he is not ready.

You should be able to make time for each other despite your busy schedules, but he is not ready.

You should appreciate each other's presence in your lives, but he is not ready.

You are not talking to your girlfriends about your relationship problems because you have him to talk about it with, but he is not ready.

You should be trying to understand each other and compromise, but he is not ready.

You should be keeping your pride down because its not worth losing your love over, but he is not ready.

Hey there pretty lady, life is too short and wonderful to stay miserably waiting. You should let him go because he is never going to be ready.